I picked out your star

Mood: I don't know, really. Kinda frustrated, kinda down, but kinda happy and kinda loving.
Listening To: Your Star by The All-American Rejects.
Reading: 3 Nephi 11.

So. Not much has happened in the water polo world. I still haven't played goalie, no matter how much I want to, and JV keeps losing. But varsity keeps winning. And so, I'm losing and winning AT THE SAME TIME. OHMIGASH.

OH. And I'm going to State for drama. In fact, our WHOLE TEAM is going to State. (Of course, this is the first year that's possible, but you know.) And we got a perfect score at Region. So that's pretty cool. =3

But right now things are stressful. I worked with Tiff on Sunday, and she fixed a lot of things in my monologue, so I'm pretty excited for State, but there's nothing to do in drama, and I just sit around with nobody to talk to because Makenzie's helping do panels. Bleh. And then when I do see Makenzie long enough to talk to, she just kinda huffs like there's something wrong, but when I ask, she denies it.

And I wish she'd say more. Maybe something like, "Not now, later." or "Not a big deal, just frustrated." And I'd stop worrying. I'd stop thinking that she's avoiding me or that she doesn't want to talk to me.

And don't get me started on Michael. I haven't talked to the kid in ages. And I don't think he cares. So here I go, giving up again.

I'm sick and tired of smelling my little brother's hands. I'm sick and tired of trying to fix our stupid satellite receiver. I'm sick and tired of trying to juggle my house crap with my school crap.

AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH MY MOM.

We cannot get along. I don't know what it is, but I can never make her happy. And I just want to give up on that, but you can't just walk away from home, no matter how much you want to. Even if your friend who's going to be 18 invites you into her own home, offering to be your guardian. Hah.

So that's why I have mixed feelings about everything. Nothing seems to be working out, that's all.


"Love me, that's all I ask of you."
-Christine from The Phantom of the Opera.


<\3 = brittany