and no one keeps a cow for a friend

Mood: Grumpy.
Listening To: "Into the Woods - Prologue" from Into the Woods.
Reading: Mary Poppins Comes Back by P.L. Travers.

Well, I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday, and never have I wanted to eat an apple more.
Jell-o and pudding and mashed potatoes all suck.
It's gross too. I can feel the stitches IN MY MOUTH. No one should EVER have stitches in their mouth. Ever.

I'm not used to oral pain.
And my face is the flipping size of a cantaloupe.
And I have to work tomorrow.

I am not excited.

Okay, I'm a whino. I know.

But people have visited me and brought me shakes and pudding. :D

Bah, I should lie down.

"What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!"
-Lina Lamont, Singin' in the Rain.

<3 = brittany

and I wear shoes of the sensible kind

Mood: Kinda lonely.
Listening To: "Practically Perfect" from Mary Poppins.
Reading: I've been going through books like crazy. I just finished "Mary Poppins" by P.L. Travers, "The House of the Scorpion" by Nancy Farmer, and "Bridge to Terabithia" by Katherine Something-or-Other.

Wow. A lot has happened since my last entry. I've gone to New York, Girl's Camp, and Jackson Hole since.

New York was amazing. Words cannot describe the euphoria I felt. And the pictures are full of the perma-grins we had. Oh blast. If you really want to know, you'd have to call me or something and be ready for a long, one-sided conversation. :D

Girl's Camp was fun, if full of whiny girls. Hah. I was with the Stake this year, so I got to be with girls from other wards, namely Jodee Johnson, Larissa Poyner, Stephanie Bevan, and Jessica Jensen. Holy cow, we did some crazy things. My favorite part? Surfing on top of a van careening down a mountainside with Jodee, Lar, and Steph. <3

And I went camping with Winston and Kenz and her family near Jackson Hole. Holy cow, it was fun. Met a lot of cool, laidback people on vacation and got to ride a river a zillion times. Fell out a few times on some good rapids, laughed a lot, and generally had a great time. And I rode a four-wheeler for the first time. :D

So now I'm waiting around until I have to go to work.
I'm all dressed up with no place to go. D:
I even have makeup on, for heaven's sakes.
How often does that happen?

"They're not here. I missed them again because of my endless, shameless lateness. No matter, we'll rendezvous. We'll rendezvous."
-Dr. Bleeb, "We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story." I love that movie.

<3 = brittany

am I too outspoken?

Mood: Meh.
Listening To: "Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers.
Reading: "Somebody's Gotta Say It" by Neal Boortz.

So, Dairy Princess was last night.
And I won't lie. Of course I was disappointed.
But it was a good experience.
Showed me that I'm not really a pageant person.
And that I'm kinda tired of second place.
And I'm not saying this because I'm a sore loser or anything, I'm just saying that I don't think that the interviews and the formals and the poise are for me.
But it's over.
As Rafiki says, "It doesn't matter. It's in the past."

I'm just brassy, I think.
Blunt and a bit coarse.
Do those words fit together?
I make them fit.

I dunno. I just don't belong in the pageants.
Stick me in the water. I'll beat a couple of people up. :)


New York is in two weeks. I'm really excited for that. And I'm leaving for California on Tuesday.

And that's all, I think.

Ta.

"What's going on? Why aren't you seizing the boy?"
"'Cause I have a big head and little arms, and I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through. "
-The Bowler Hat Guy and the T-Rex, Meet the Robinsons.

color the coast with your smile

Mood: Stressed out.
Listening To: "Carry This Picture" by Dashboard Confessional. Yes, I'm on a Dashboard kick.
Reading: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Well, I'm liberated from being grounded. So I'm excited.

And I'm the colorguard co-captain for 07-08. I'm really excited for it. We're doing Pirates again for the field show. <3

And I got new shoes from Payless. :D

I've got my math final on Tuesday, and if I don't pass the final, I fail the class. So I'm freaking out. Studying like a madwoman. Ya know.

State Water Polo is on Friday and Saturday. I'm glad the season is almost over. Not that it wasn't fun, it was just hectic and crazy.

And my AP Bio test is on the 14th. Gah.

"Seriously, who steals a dead woman's shoes? Must have been raised in a barn!"
-Elphaba, Wicked.

<3 = brittany

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

so won't you kill me. So I die happy.
Mood: Kinda crappy.
Listening To: "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional.
Reading: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini.

So.

Things went pretty much downhill from Saturday morning.

The date was hard. Realizing that the guy you're crushing on so hard doesn't like you at all in return is difficult to come to terms with. You feel like a failure, and you feel so hopeless. I know it's not the end of the world, I know there's someone out there for me.

But it's so dang hard right now.

And then I came home and my mother said, "You wore that? I can't believe you."
I was wearing shorts, knee-high socks, pink hi-tops, a maroon shirt, and a dark green jacket. My hair was half-up and curly because I hadn't had time to straighten it. I hadn't seen anything wrong when I left the house. I wore makeup for heaven's sakes.

But she went on to inform me why boys didn't like me. She decided to tell me everything that was wrong with the way I did everything. I had decided that the whole boy thing wasn't going to bother me. But then when she said all these things, it bothered me. And she asked if I would rather she not care.

Please don't care. I don't want to hear this anymore. I'm not doing anything wrong, they just don't like me, that's all.

So I went to bed and cried.

The next morning was a mess. That afternoon was worse. She proceeded to tell me that she hoped my plane would crash when I went to New York so that she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.

Thanks, mom. Please don't come to the funeral.

And so today, we've ignored each other.
I've felt like dirt.

So it was a great date. Let me tell you.

"There's no pretense here. I happpen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow."
-Fiyero, Wicked.

<|3 = brittany

man, it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she had

But it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all.
Mood: Tired, excited, and happy.
Listening To: "Carve Your Heart Out Yourself" by Dashboard Confessional.
Reading: To Sir, With Love by E. Braithwaite.

So we had a party for Sutton and Bobby's birthday on Thursday. And it was a lot of fun. Sutton, Bobby, Kenzie, and Kate didn't go home until 11:00.

And there was a big tickle fight. And a head-scratching, hand-holding circle. It was calming. And very much needed.

Yeah. <3

It was my little brother's birthday yesterday, and he had twenty twelve-year-olds over for a party. Loud and crazy. And messy too.

But now he's twelve and his hair is short. I'm glad.

But I got home twenty minutes late from taking Kate and Kaitlyn home last night. So I'm grounded from Sunday(tomorrow) to Sunday(next week). Kinda sucks.

But I have a date with Bobby tonight. And I'm reallyreally excited.

So that's all.
And Kenzie's birthday is on Monday. :D

"I mean, who steals a dead woman's shoes? Must have been raised in a barn!"
-Elphaba, Wicked.

Like a poem poorly written, we are verses out of rhythm, couplets out of rhyme

Mood: I'm living. And that's good.
Listening To: "The Dangling Conversation" by Simon and Garfunkel.
Reading: "Two Hot Dogs with Everything" by Paul Haven.

It's a still life watercolor
Of a now late afternoon
As the sun shines through the curtain lace
And shadows wash the room

And we sit and drink our coffee
Couched in our indifference
Like shells upon the shore
You can hear the ocean roar

In the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs
The borders of our lives

And you read your Emily Dickinson
And I my Robert Frost
And we note our place with bookmarkers
That measure what we've lost

Like a poem poorly written
We are verses out of rhythm
Couplets out of rhyme
In syncopated time.

And the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs
Are the borders of our lives

Yes we speak of things that matter
With words that must be said
Can analysis be worthwhile?
Is the theatre really dead?

And how the room has softly faded
And I only kiss your shadow
I cannot feel your hand
You're a stranger now unto me

Lost in the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs
In the borders of our lives.

-"Dangling Conversation," Simon and Garfunkel.



Things have been hard for the past couple of days, but they're working themselves out, falling into place.
And I feel the need to speak in poetry.
This is how it usually happens.
I speak in line breaks that I call poetry.
Tangent, sorry.

I don't know. I just need some time.
To breathe, to let go.
Things will work out.

I just need to learn to step back and trust.

"Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what."
-Chris Gardner, "The Pursuit of Happyness."

Ta.

<3 = brittany

it doesn't change a thing but even so after twenty-five years it's nice to know

Mood: Not too good.
Listening To: "Do You Love Me?" from Fiddler on the Roof.
Reading: Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Twelfth Night, The Imaginary Invalid.

Yep, it's my birthday.

And last night at midnight, it was a happy one.
Kenzie called me right as my clock changed to 12:00. And I was happy. <3
Thanks Kenzie.

But this morning,
I skidded into a telephone pole.
Killed the front right side of my mom's car.
I had to call my dad to save me.
He came. Only cared that I was okay.
I was late to Majestix. But they gave me a break because of the circumstances.

I had a test in AP Bio.
I had a test in water polo.
I sucked it up playing goalie today.
And I'm the goalie for our game tomorrow.

My mom has screamed at me.
I came home to an empty house.
She was at the neighbor's.
And not once has she said happy birthday.

I know I did screw up her car.
But I just want to know that she remembers.



<|3 = brittany

don't I make you laugh? should I try it harder?

Mood: I'm not sure. I'm living.
Listening To: "Not Pretty Enough" , Kasey Chambers. Story of my life. <3
Reading: Nothing really. Doctrine and Covenants and Book of Mormon, yo.

- So, Winter Ball was a freaking blast! Loved it, had a lot of fun, felt gorgeous. You know.
- My job is great. Flexible hours, a nice manager, just great. <3
- Majestix is coming right along. I'm really excited for competitions. We have a chance this year.
- I'm excited for drama competition too. Jess and I are co-captains of the humorous monologue team, and I'm competing in classical scenes with Sal. :D
- Water polo tryouts are tomorrow and Friday! Whoo!
- And Girl's Day is on Saturday. I'm going with Benjamin. :D

I don't know what else to say, and I'm running out of time.

Ta.

"I won't let go!"
"I know."
-Jake Fischer and Ben Randall from The Guardian.

<3 = brittany

if you wanna hit the high notes, you better be a diva!

Mood: Feeling good. :D
Listening To: "If You're Gonna..." by Natasha Bedingfield. (Now my theme song, thanks to Kenzie. :D)
Reading: Doctrine and Covenants and Book of Mormon! Whoo! 1.5 pages per day, baby!

So I just had an awesome week. The end.

Hah, but I'm gonna tell you all about it.

-So, I quit the play because I need a job because I really want to go to New York. That's all.
-My photography portfolio is looking awesome.
-2nd term is almost over!
-I got asked to Winter Ball. That great kid Zach Jensen finally asked me. :D
-I performed my monologue, "The Shadow Box (Maggie)", did freakin' awesome, in my opinion. I really want to compete with it. <3
-I went to an Urban Expressions colorguard clinic on Saturday. Urban Expressions is an independent colorguard. I went to a few classes, and Sumer, the choreographer, talked to Tami, my advisor, and told her that she wanted me for UEX. But, you can't be on an independent guard and a high school guard at the same time, so Tami said that Sumer would just have to wait until I graduated. But out of all the girls on the team, she wanted me! <3<3<3
-And, I got a job at Iceberg. WHOO! I start on Wednesday. <3

Ta.

"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."
-George Bailey, It's a Wonderful Life.

<3 = brittany

<3 = brittany

from God our heavenly father this blessed angel came

Mood: Calm.
Listening To: "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen/We Three Kings" by Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan.
Reading: "Museum of Hoaxes" by Alex Boese.

Well.

I've had a busy, stressful week.

-Auditions are over. I'm in the pit choir. And that's all I'm going to say about it.
-Had a girl's night with Trish and Jess after auditions. Ate a lot of ice cream and watched (rather, slept through) Legend.
-Went to the temple last night with Caydee and Jess Coop. Had a ton of fun. =D
-Jess gave me a beanie she crocheted for Christmas. And she's knitting my dream scarf for me. Crimson and gold. GO GRYFFINDOR. I know, I'm a dork.
-Watched Pride and Prejudice last night with Caydee and Jess. Good movie. I managed to hate Mr. Darcy until the very end. And then I cried and decided he wasn't so bad after all. I'm going to read the book. <3


That's pretty much it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ta.

"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
-Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life.

<3 = brittany

grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall

Mood: Pretty good.
Listening To: "The Brothers Come to Egypt/Grovel, Grovel" from Joseph and the ATD.
Reading: The Doctrine and Covenants, yo.

So....

I'm still kinda on air. I got 3rd place in Mixed Media in the Art Show for a Gesso transfer of oranges titled "peel out". (Thanks, Tiff.) It was so cool. <3 First time I've gotten an award for arts.

-Joseph auditions are on Thursday. SO NERVOUS.
-Caydee's birthday was today. She can be convicted of a felony. =D Jess Coop and I baked a cake and took it to her today. =D
-I made a really cool personality mask. It's a plaster gauze mask of my face and painted with acrylic paint. I need to get a picture of it.
-I'm going to the temple on the 23rd. <3
-I might be asked to Winter Ball.
-I'm going on a date on the 26th, I'm just not sure of who I'm going with. But I know we're going ice skating. <3

But that's pretty much it.

Nothing majorly exciting, just things I think are important.
Because of course, we all know the world revolves around me. =D

Ta.

"I don't believe in free love!"
"Pity."
-Joseph and Mrs. Potiphar from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

<3 = brittany

Color Quiz

Brittany took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Needs a change in her circumstances or in her rela..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

then I saw it on your keyboard and you saw it on my sleeve

Mood: Pretty good. A bit tired, but good. =D
Listening To: "I Saw It On Your Keyboard" by hellogoodbye
Reading: Just finished The Da Vinci Code, right now all I'm reading are a scene and a monologue. Tell Me Another Story... and The Shadow Box.

So, Kenzer introduced me to this totally awesome band, hellogoodbye. They're freakin' AWESOME.

That's all.

I haven't posted for a long time.

-Camelot is over. I'm sad, but it couldn't go on forever, and I don't think I'd like it if it did. We put on five amazing shows and touched a lot of people. AND I learned how to dutch. =D
-I went to the Barenaked Ladies concert last Wednesday. AWESOME, I must say. I had a lot of fun.
-I have been without a bed for two weeks or so (My mom sold it, it's kind of a long story) . BUT we are getting a permanent bed soon. Soon, I say!
-Slept over at Kenzie's on Friday. Had fun with Diet Coke and Mentos. =D And talked about LOTS of things. Life, basically. <3 -School is kinda boring and not very stressful at the moment. I like it this way, but I'm afraid that I'm going to be flooded very soon. That's really all I've got to say. Nothing really absolutely marvelous from this end of the world.

Ta.

"I knowed I made a good choice."
"In what?"
"My best friend." -Mater and Lightning, Cars

<3 = brittany

and he's so funny in his bright red shirt

we were all in love and we all got hurt.

Mood: Tired, confused.
Listening To: "White Houses" by Vanessa Carlton.
Reading: A Million Little Pieces by James Frey.

He said he was breaking up with her. He said he didn't want to be attached to anybody. He flirted with me all week. I was glad that he wanted to talk with me, joke with me, laugh with me. But last night he colored a picture from someone's "Pretty Pony Coloring Book". He showed it to Caydee, proud of what he'd done. I wanted to see it, but he wouldn't show it to me. I finally joked around a bit more and had him unfold it.

A pink pony with a yellow mane. Above the pony it said "Kim".

My heart fell, and I tried to keep a smile on my face even though that knife was twisting and biting its way into my heart.

He walked away and Caydee whispered, "I'm sorry." I tried to blow it off, tried to act like it didn't matter, it didn't hurt. She and I knew it did.

I know it's stupid and teenage and immature, but I am stupid and teenage and immature.

I've just never liked anyone the way I like him, and he doesn't see it. They call him "The Pimp of the Play" because he's a huge flirt and all the girls like him.

I just thought maybe he'd like me back.

"I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand."
-Lightning McQueen, Cars.

<3 = brittany

and we carved our names in the proverbial wall and nothing much else really matters at all

Mood: Tired, confused kinda, stressed.
Listening To: "Autumn and Me" by Saving Jane
Reading: DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS.

Well, Kenzie's off to college for the third time this month, hah.

And I'm at home.

Sick because of homecoming.

I'll tell the story in my next entry.

I just wanted to say that I wasn't dead.

Just inactive.

In all senses of the word.

<3 = brittany

oh there ain't no love no montagues or capulets

Mood: Happy, but kinda sad.
Listening To: "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" by The Arctic Monkeys.
Reading: Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo by Obert Skye.

Holy cow. First week of school and I already had an assignment AND a test in Calculus. I don't like Steelman, either. And we've had a practice AP test in Biology, and the highest score in the class was 39%. And that was the genius kid. I got a 25%. BUT HOLY FAT COW. Seriously.

But everything else is pretty good. I've got Leni in two classes, Larissa in two classes, a few other people in a few other classes. =D

And field show is getting kinda stressful. We've only got the first song charting done, and we have three others to finish by Sept. 15. Oh dear.

Didn't do a heck of a lot this week. Hung with Michael and Dono a lot. Hung out with Lindsey some. Hung out with Elle and Kenzie some.

HAH. Went to Iceberg with Michael, Kenzie, and Elle the other day, and it was THE FUNNIEST. Holy cow. Laughed so much that night. Kenzie ran full-on into a door, slid down a wall. Elle "spoke" as this lady who was talking outside. BAHA. So funny. And we played BS in Iceberg as we were waiting for our food. SO MUCH FUN.

And I worked out with Kenzie yesterday. My legs are sore now.

And my mom and I gave Kenzie cups and plates and silverware and a blender for her college-ly pursuits. My mom figures that we owe her a ton, so it was all free of charge, of course. Michael and Kenz came by and grabbed them today. And both of them said that I look like I've lost weight. <3<3<3

So, that's how it's been the past week.

AUDITIONS ARE TOMORROW.
And Kenzie leaves earlyearlyearly Friday morning. Sadness.

"How's your heart?"
"It's a little bit broken."

-Michelle and Anna Foster, "Chasing Liberty".

<3 = brittany

today is where your book begins

Mood: THANKHEAVENS. Kinda.
Listening To: "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.
Reading: Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo by Obert Skye.

Hoo. It's been a little more than a month since I've written a blog entry. Quite a bit has happened since the 15th of July.

-Draper Days SUCKED. Really.
-Pioneer Day parade was pretty cool, actually. Saw Cori, saw Liz.
-Went to Lagoon on July 24th, got dropped by my crush, then spent a totally awesome day with Mak, Michael, Tiff, and Dono.
-Went to girl's camp, which was actually a lot of fun.
-Somewhere in there I did Ophir Days, which was awesome.
-Mak got 1st attendant in the Miss Tooele County Pageant, I think she deserved Miss Tooele County, but it's really good that she got 1st attendant.
-Went to history a bajillion times.
-Went to see Ty Herndon in concert (AND YAGERTOWN. WOO.) with Captain, Mak, and Michael. TON OF FUN.
-And band camp ended today. We got quite a lot done, and I'm pretty proud of myself and our girls.
-OH. AND I FINISHED MY HISTORY REPORTS. FINALLY.

I dunno what else to say. School starts on Monday, and I have mixed feelings about that. My schedule's somewhere in my house, but I'm too lazy to get it. I'll post it someday.

But I got all the classes I wanted. Advanced theatre, advanced photography, AP Calc, AP Biology, social dance, interior design, web page design. Yeah, I'm pretty excited, actually.

"There's no crying in baseball!"
-Jimmy Dugan to Evelyn Gardner in A League of Their Own.

<3 = brittany

she is the prom queen, I'm in the marching band

Mood: Strangely sorta happy.
Listening To: "Girl Next Door" by Saving Jane. (Dude, it's like the story of my LIFE.)
Reading: "Skud" by Dennis Foon.

Okay. "Girl Next Door" is my new favorite song. Especially the line that is the title of this blog. Because I am in the marching band, hah.

Anyway, so I'm bored out of my mind. I just want school to start already. Michael and Lindsey have been at EFY all week, Kenzie was at girl's camp, and I just don't talk to anyone else.

Mur. I've been overreacting about a lot of things, which won't be mentioned here. You can probably guess.

"Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?"
"To not to."

-Sheriff and Mater from Cars.

<3 = brittany

the hardest thing is letting go of you

Mood: Tired, cold, bored, irritated.
Listening To: "One More Sad Song" by The All-American Rejects.
Reading: My History 1700 book.

Well, I got a 32 composite on the ACT. I'm really excited about that. 35 on English, 35 on Reading, 32 on Science, 25 on Math. So, I still need to retake it to get a higher math score.

But enough about that.

Saw Cars, Over the Hedge, Ice Age 2, and Pirates of the Caribbean 2 recently.

All of them were really good and really funny, but Cars and Pirates!2 were AWESOME.

Although Pirates!2 lacks an ending.

BUT IT'S FREAKING AWESOME, NEVERTHELESS.

L'anyhoodle, went to my ward campout with Lindsey last night, slept like a bear, got up, and didn't "wake up" for a few hours, hah.

And as a lovely ending note:
I wish some people would swallow their pride and TALK to me once in a while.

Ta.

"Dirt... This is a jar of dirt..."
"Yes..."
"...Is the jar of dirt going to help?"
"If you don't want it, give it back."
"No."
-Captain Jack Sparrow and Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

<3 = brittany